Hope Scribbles

Please feel free to stop by and read my NEW blog:

www.hopescribbles.wordpress.com

So Long, Farewell ...

After a wonderful year of blogging, I think the time to stop blogging has come. It's sad, saying goodbye to an activity I've enjoyed so much - and through which I've learned so much and made some dear, sweet bloggy friends. I'm just not keeping up with life ... and blogging is one more thing to try and do every day. I've thought and prayed about this - and talked with my parents - and there are things I know God wants me to do with my life. Although blogging is fun and does real good, it's not something God specifically wants me to do with my life. I know other girls have voiced a specific call from God to blog ... and that's truly right and wonderful. But that's not me ...


So, I'll leave this blog here on the bloggysphere as an archive, but won't post again ... at least, not in the foreseeable future. If anyone stumbles upon it, I hope and pray it will be a blessing!

My 24th Birthday - Time to Move On

Today it's one who year since I created my blog and wrote my first post!

Also ... it's my twenty fourth birthday! I'm in a curious limbo between hardly noticing I'm officially a year older and hardly believing I'm really twenty four years old! But ... oh well ... honestly, being twenty four does not (yet!) feel the tiniest little bit different from being twenty three ...

However, being twenty four makes me think it's time for a change ... time to move on. Honestly, can I write a blog called "Twenty Three and Soaring" when I'm twenty four? I've thought of keeping the name and updating my profile information ... changing the name to "Twenty Four and Soaring" ... or changing the name to something totally different.

But none of those options feels "right."

I like my blog. But I think I've outgrown it. So I'm moving on. On out of blog-o-land? I've considered it, but I think I'll miss blogging. So ... welcome to my new blog!

A big "thank you" to everyone who's read my blog and walked the last year with me through my posts! It's been such a fun and exciting adventure, blogging and making bloggy friends! You can't imagine how privileged I feel, to know that many people read my posts and that some people are encouraged. That's awesome to know, it really is. Thank you so much, dear people who read my blog!

Since it's my birthday, how about ... letting me know who you are and what your favourite book is? That would be fun! (But no pressure if you'd rather stay anonymous. That's fine!) Otherwise ... to start you off ... hello! My name in Elizabeth and my favourite book it (at the moment!) "When God Writes Your Life Story" by Eric and Leslie Ludy. And you are ... ?

Link: Doorsteps

There's an awesome post at the IDD blog! Check it out!

A Mountain Climbing Kind of Girl

When my family and I went to Israel in December, we went to Masada ... a mountain beside the Dead Sea. It has a tumultuous history, but it was peaceful and beautiful when my family and I were there. To get to the top of Masada, you can ride in a cable car ... or climb The Snake Path.


I chose to climb The Snake Path. To be honest, I'm not a mountain climbing kind of girl. But I'd wanted to climb Masada for almost ten years and here was my opportunity, so I provided myself with water and chocolate chip cookies (essential for keeping up a climber's strength) and ... climbed. I took this picture at the beginning of the path up ...


To begin with, it was easy. When I was a little girl, I spent hours and hours climbing the hills and rocks around my grandmother's home. But after a while ... it was hot ... I was tired ... I wanted to stop and rest ... I thought I couldn't take one ... more ... step.

The climb stopped being fun.

It became a test of endurance.

The only way to get to the top of the mountain was to climb ... up ... one step, another step, one more step ... up ...





And ... eventually ... I got to the top. I didn't look great. But I felt wonderful! The sense of achievement and satisfaction was indescribable - I had climbed Masada ... I had accomplished a ten year old goal ... I had "conquered" the mountain. And the view from the top was awesome ... breathtaking ... indescribable!


Later, I climbed - walked, ran, jumped! - down the mountain. Before shopping into the visitor's center and running to catch the bus (which was late, so we had to wait anyway!), I took this picture - of Masada, the mountain, "my" mountain! I've climbed it and the climb changed me ... into a mountain climbing kind of girl?


Yesterday, I was thinking ... there is a "mountain" in my life at the moment. This "mountain" is comprised of challenges and difficulties and things God is trying to teach me. Probably, when I get to the top, I'll find the climb has changed me.

But at the moment it's not fun.

It's a test of endurance.

I'm tired ... I want to stop and rest ... I think I can't take one ... more ... step.

Does this sound ... um ... familiar?

When I climbed Masada, the only way to the top was up. As I climb the "mountain" of challenges and difficulties in my life, the only way to the top is ... up. It doesn't matter whether I'm a mountain climbing kind of girl or not! I need to keep climbing ... up ... one step, another step, one more step ... up ...

I know that ... but yesterday I was tired and stressed and I told God, "I can't do this ... and I don't want to do this ... please, don't make me do this!"

And then I thought of Masada - which, although I'm not a mountain climbing kind of girl, I climbed. I thought I couldn't do it - but I did it. I got to the top.

It was as if God smiled and reassured my heart, whispering, "Yes, you can do this! Come on ... and just trust Me. Remember, you can do this ... you can climb mountains!"

I'm not climbing the "mountain" alone ... I'm following my Jesus ... up ... one step, another step, one more step ... up ...

And He says, "Yes, you can do this!"

I believe I'll get to the top of the "mountain." The feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction will be cool. The view will be out of this world. But the knowledge that my Jesus knew I could do it and helped me to do it ... that will be the greatest and sweetest thing.

And maybe ... just maybe ... it will turn me into a mountain climbing kind of girl.

Lessons from Christy Miller

I'm guessing that in many ways, I fit quite neatly into "a box" - I'm a Christian girl, I'm quite conservative, I was homeschooled, I wear long skirts and dresses, I have long hair, I live at home with my parents, I'm committed to courtship. And so on ...

(Actually, in many ways, I don't fit neatly into "a box," but that's a whole other post ...)

So when, while researching the world of contemporary Christian novels, I came across the Christy Miller books by Robin Jones Gunn, I thought I knew what I was getting into. Honestly (yes ... it is embarrassing to admit this!), my expectations were ... seriously ... low.

And seriously ... wrong.

Why? Because in Christy - a teen girl who goes to highschool and youthgroup, wears jeans and shorts, dates and isn't specifically saving her first kiss for her wedding day - I found a kindred spirit. I'm still surprised! I'm one kind of girl and Christy is another kind of girl, right? In many ways, yes. In many ways, no ... because Christy is "a Christian girl," too. Sure, like me she has joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures. But above and beyond those things (which unite all of mankind), there are the things which unite believers - things like love for God, overflowing into love for other believers and compassion for "the lost" ... like me, Christy tries to live a life pleasing to God and yearns for a deeper relationship with God, wanting to become the women He created her to be ...

I believe my standards are important. I'm not planning to compromise them - I'm not sorry I was homeschooled. I'm not sorry I spent my teen years wearing long skirts and dresses. I'm not sorry I spent my teen years dreaming about Prince Charming rather than wondering who liked who and waiting to be asked out on a date ... and I'm not sorry I'm committed to courtship and saving my first kiss for my husband on our wedding day!

But ... I'm sorry I spent my teen years looking at the Christy Miller's in my life and judging them for going to highschool/youthgroup ... wearing jeans and shorts ... dating and (occasionally) kissing their boyfriends. I'm sorry I used my standards in the wrong way, to divide me from girls who were kindred spirits - because, like me and like Christy, they loved God and tried to live a life pleasing to Him, yearning for a deeper relationship with Him and wanting to be the women He created them to be ...

It's important that we walk "the straight and narrow path" and rise above our cultural expectations to follow our Jesus - but it's important that we don't judge and condemn the Christy Millers in our lives. We might have more in common than we realise (or want to admit) and we might - just might! - learn something from walking and talking with them ...

Because, ultimately, it doesn't matter how long we were homeschooled or how long our skirts and dresses are or how deeply we're committed to courtship ... ultimately, we're just like Christy and her friends - because like them, we're "God-lovers," right?

Link: Beauty in the Mistakes

There's a beautiful article posted on The IDD Blog today ... can you see (and accept) "beauty in the mistakes"? Seeing (and accepting!) beauty in the mistakes I make is not something I'm typically very good at ... I prefer to aim for perfection and tend to agonise over everything but perfection! However ... being human and (moreover) making mistakes on a reasonably regular basis, the ability to see beauty - even embrace beauty - in the mistakes I make, in any and every area of life, is possibly an art I need to cultivate!

Just Pray ... As Life Goes On

It was this time last week that I "accidentally" stumbled upon the tragic news about Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter. I logged into one of my favourite "cosy" places online and there a friend had shared a link to the story. I don't know Steven Curtis Chapman personally (I mean ... I don't know him and he doesn't know I exist, but his music and lyrics fill my parents' kitchen for some time, six days out of seven!), but when I read the news ...

I felt devastated ... and then I felt overwhelmed by the reality that the devastation I felt on hearing of the death of a child I didn't know was nothing compared to the devastation the child's parents, siblings and friends must be experiencing.

Between this time last week and this time this week, lots of people have been praying for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family. I have been. And maybe some of you who read my blog have been. And ... you can read the story. You can share your condolences. You can join a Facebook group.

But ... ultimately ... life goes on.

So ... I guess I want to say ... keep praying for Steven Curtis Chapman and his family. For them, a new journey has only just begun. I believe that God, who knows the plans - "for good and not for evil" - He has for each member of the Chapman family in heaven and on earth, will be strong for the family and will walk with each of them every step of the way.

But ... speaking as one who has experienced grief (though nothing like the Chapman family is experiencing) ... it's hard when life goes on and everyone ... well ... sort of forgets. Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife and children need our prayers for as long as we can remember them and remember that life goes on, but broken hearts don't mend as fast as life goes on. And prayers help.

Can God support Steven Curtis Chapman and his family without my prayers ... without your prayers? Absolutely. But one of the many ways God may choose to support the Chapman family is through prayers. Prayers of people like me ... like you ... who don't know them, but share their faith in the God who "heals and rescues and restores" and care enough to remember them and ask Him to heal and rescue and restore their broken hearts.

While I was out and driving around in the van today, I was listening to Declaration ... comprised of songs that are so familiar - Live Out Loud, God is God, Magnificent Obsession and Carry You to Jesus. Remember the words?

I will not pretend to feel the pain you’re going through
I know I cannot comprehend the hurt you’ve known
And I used to think it mattered if I understood
But now I just don’t know

Well, I’ll admit sometimes I still wish I knew what to say
And I keep looking for a way to fix it all
But we know we’re at the mercy of God’s higher ways
And our ways are so small

But I will carry you to Jesus
He is everything you need
I will carry you to Jesus on my knees

There's more ... but this is the point: I can't "feel the pain" and "comprehend the hurt," but I can "carry [the Chapman family] to Jesus" ... to the One who can ... and does ... feel and comprehend. The One who will mend their broken hearts. The One who is, I am sure, longing to heal and rescue and restore.

Pray.

And while you pray for a family you don't know, remember to pray for the people you do know, who are brokenhearted and hurting ... even if you don't know all the details or understand all the pain.

Just pray ... as life goes on.

An Attitude Adjustment

One of my oldest and dearest friends, Anne, just got married. And I just saw pictures of the dress and the ceremony ... and the happy couple. As a result, my attitude is "just a wee small bit" ... you know ... not so great.


Anne and I have been friends for ... years. We started writing to each other when we were very young teenagers, after two hours of talking. Anne lived in FL and I lived ... somewhere else, "far away." Our families met "by accident" and that was just the beginning ... the things my friend and I had in common began with the facts that we were both the eldest daughters of the large families, that we were both homeschooled and that both our fathers liked their daughters (us!) to dress modestly ... and ended with the fact that "someday," we both wanted to get married, have large families and homeschool our children ...

Looking back over Anne's letters, I can see that desire threaded through our correspondence and our friendship ... like a golden thread woven into a beautiful fabric, it's there in almost every letter - overtly or subtly. Were we "obsessed" with the idea of marriage and motherhood? I don't think so. We both wanted to get married ... so we talked about it, just as girls who want to be doctors or astronauts talk about going to college and medical school or applying to NASA.

(If that's what you do to get a place on board a spaceship ... I really have no idea at all!)

"Way back when ..." Anne and I were sure that the desire to get married was a natural desire and a gift from God, that being a wife and a mother was a high and noble calling and that we were called to be wives and mothers "someday" ... so our future husbands would appear in our lives, initiate a courtship and claim our hearts (strictly in that order!) in good time. And good time was ... we thought ... somewhere between our eighteenth and twenty-first birthdays ...


Ten years, around one-hundred letters, more or less twenty-five 'phone calls, two visits, one painful test of friendship and loyalty, many tears and smiles and countless prayers later ...

Anne - MRS Smith - just got married.

She's got a diamond engagement ring and a golden wedding ring.

She's worn a breathtaking wedding dress and a misty bridal veil.

Most importantly, she's stood before God with Dan (the sweet and godly man God has given her) and pledged to love him all the days of her life, before sealing the promise with their first kiss.


And ... like I said, my attitude is not so great. Not for a moment do I wish Anne was not in love and not married to her sweetheart. No ... but I wonder, when two girls (two friends, no less!) wanted the same thing, why has God granted one her heart's desire ... and not granted the other her heart's desire?


I'll never know ... until, maybe, I get to Heaven. And then I have an idea they'll be other things on my heart, like ... God! Until then, it's probably better not to ask ... why hasn't God granted me my heart's desire too? But even if I don't ask that question, there are other questions ... did I not want marriage and motherhood "enough"? Am I hopelessly immature and "unready"? Am I too plain and quiet to captivate a man (the "right" man)?

And why, anyway, do some girls get married at eighteen and others at thirty-eight ... or never?

And beyond the questions every single girl asks when her friends get married (right?), there are deeper questions still ... why did God give my friend the man of her dreams less than one week (six days, to be precise) after the "painful test of friendship and loyalty" that robbed me of my hopes and dreams? Why did He grant Anne her heart's desire, when He can never grant me my heart's desire? And what good can He bring from disappointed hopes and broken dreams?

It's enough to make a single girl avoid each and every wedding between now and ... her own wedding!

But I was thinking ... maybe I need an attitude adjustment. It's not fair that Anne should have just got married and I should not have just got married. But life isn't fair. And God never promised it would be ... or should be. There are times to cry because life isn't fair ... and there are times to stand up straight and look to God and remember ... remember that He created me and redeemed me ... remember that He has plans for me, to give me a hope and a future ... remember that He has promised to work everything together for good.

Life isn't fair. But my life is not at the mercy of "chance" or tossed hither and thither by "accidents" or "coincidences" ... ruled by what is (or is not) "fair." My life is watched over by my Heavenly Father ... the One who has plans for my and has promised to work everything together for good.


Those plans ... apparently they include celebrating my 24th birthday with my family and friends, but no "special guy."

And that promise ... there's no small print to absolve God from keeping that promise, because a broken heart is too "complicated" or too "wicked".


I am not single because I am too plain and quiet ... or because homeschooling ruined me and my social life forever ... or because I don't wear mini-skirts and make-up ... or because I don't look for and flirt with guys ... or because I am immature and "unready" ... or because there are more women than men in my generation ... or because the very-few-and-far-between single men in my generation can't be bothered to pursue a wife ... or because God has forgotten me and the desires of my heart.

I am single because my God, my Creator and Redeemer, has ordained that on May 27th 2008 I should be single. I may, sometimes, be surprised and hurt that I'm "so very old" and not married. Honestly, I never planned to be "almost" 24 and single. But God is not surprised. He's always planned for me to be "almost" 24 and single.

Why?

I don't know why ... I just know God is God, my God, and this is what He has ordained ... I am single for His reasons and purposes ... for Him. I also know that He understands the hurt and sees the tears. And that maybe ... just "maybe!" ... I am single because God has things for me to do now. Things that are beyond my dreams, but within His plan. His perfect plan. Not for Anne's life, but for my life.

It's difficult to let go of the questions and the hurt.

Anne has just got married and ... I ... haven't.

But God is God and I am single for Him.

And this is an attitude adjustment I can live with ...

Link: Sand Castles

Today on YLCF there is an amazing post ...

"I feel sad. Earlier I felt I could cry. It is so hard sometimes to be satisfied in where God has placed me. To be content. Have you ever been 26 years old and still so very single? Never had a kiss stolen, never held hands with a man in mutual affection. I've never been chosen by a man. I've been waiting a long time ..."